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Hail To The Chief
Written on 2002-06-19, at 11:11 p.m.
dizboy's disturbing daily diet...

1 Sprite

2 Bags Reese's Pieces

1 Pint Milk

1 Cheeseburger

2 Bags Skittles

1/2 Brownie (Possibly laden with pot, my manager gave it to me.)

1 Sam Adams

1 Spinach Cheese Dip

1 Order Zingers

John Live*

Shaggy hair, shaggy hair...why am I growing you...?

*Not at all live

People up north can develop a condition called "Winter Depression" in, well...the Winter.

It has to do with the snowstorms covering the sun for extended periods of time, which makes the body react adversely to the lack of sunlight.

We have that here in Florida, only it's called:

"Apocalyptic End of the World Thunderstorm Depression"

This syndrome comes about during weeks like this one, where it rains continuously for five solid days.

All types of rain.

Drizzling rain.

Heavy rain.

Driving rain.

Noah rain.

God he told dizboy, to build him an ark-y ark-y...

The thing to remember is, this isn't just normal rain.

This is Florida rain, which means that in addition to the torrential downpour, is accompanied by some of the most violent thunderstorms in the world.

Actually, Florida is the lightening capital of the world, did you know that?

I'll bet you thought it was like, Gnome, or something.

So today, while it poured, we were hard at work in the office.

And by hard at work, of course I mean we were pretending we were kung-fu ninjas, and surprise attacking salsa dancers.

So while we went stark raving mad with cabin (office) fever, the rain continued, pouring down the sides of the building, cascading down the windows like those incredibly expensive modern fountains.

Only we get it for free.

Now, it continues to drizzle, as all the insects and forest creatures move to higher ground, explaining why this morning as I was leaving for work, I opened the door to be greeted by a small squirrel sitting on top of a yet to be discarded bag of garbage.

I looked at it, and said, "Shouldn't you be in a tree or something?"

To which he replied, "Piss off, you're the one with the umbrella."

I found this picture today, I forgot I had it...I think it's the best picture ever of myself...

It's pre-Thanksgiving dinner at Cesar's, after our third, or perhaps fourth bottle of wine.

Someone has made a terrible mistake.

Someone has allowed me to be near the President of the United States of America.

This afternoon, I was asked to work an event this Friday where President Bush, and his Brother Jeb will be.

Prompting me to write "BUSH DAY!!" in large, red letters on my supervisor's big wall calendar.

The same supervisor who will be with me on Friday.

The same supervisor with whom I should never be paired up with, because we get very little done in the way of productivity.

Also, we act horribly towards ourselves and others, which isn't exactly conducive to a Presidential visit.

I can see her now, being escorted away by a Secret Service agent...

"There wasn't a conviction...there WASN'T. A. CONVICTION!!"

Speaking of Secret Service, they'll be frisking me, checking into my background, and possibly bending me over the back of a dark government vehicle.

But of course, that all depends on how well the frisking goes.

Be well...


Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

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