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Out of Focus
Written on 2002-06-13, at 5:09 a.m.
dizboy's disturbing daily diet...

3 Big Yeasty Rolls (That sounds horrid)

35 (at least) Peanuts

1 Grilled Chicken Sandwich

7 French Fries

2 Large Sweet Teas

1 Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese

1 Large McDonalds Fries

1 Large Coke

2 Bud Lights

John Live*

What do you want, Audrey Hepburn? It's 5am.

*Not at all live

God, I hate LiveJournal.

No offense to those of you who just swear by it...but it's not for me.

It's not as home-y as Diaryland.

The buttons, the entry pages, the graphic-based page, the ease of adding links without HTML...

It's far too alien to me.

I can't stay away...Diaryland...it's my haven.

But true to my promise, I'll continue to attempt to update it.

Though I can't guarantee I'll deliver anything witty.

This past week, I made a startling discovery.

Well, a discovery other than the fact that Insurance companies, and all those employed by them should all be subjected to hour upon hour of Celine Dion babbling inanely about world issues which she has no authority whatsoever on.

In other words, tortured.

Anyway...no, my discovery was this...

Rufus Wainwright.

Um, hello...you've all been reading me for nearly a year now.

Why has no one said..."John, you seem to be an intelligent, worldly homosexual...why is it that you never mention your love for the artist by the name of Rufus Wainwright?"

To which I would have replied..."Why, it's because I don't know who he is."

After a gasp of disbelief, and a shameful downcasting glance of my eyes, you would have enlightened me to the wonder which is Wainwright, and things could have continued on it's normal path.

But instead, here I am...the last gay man on the planet to discover him, sitting alone in my recliner in the early morning hours attempting to formulate some sort of physiological theorem which allows for the act of sexual intercourse to be performed on the simple sound of a voice.


Oh yes...I was in a car accident...did I mention that the other day?

I think I did.

I was in a car accident, and Velma is currently in the hospital undergoing $3,000 worth of repairs.

She won't be done until the 27th, they say.

Till then, I'm driving around this pretentious little Ford Focus.

Don't get me wrong, it's a cute little car, but it's not me.

I feel like I'm driving a port-o-let.

It's so small, and I feel cramped in it.

I like Velma...she's big, she's a Buick...even though she wholeheartedly believes that she's a Volvo.

I say this because every accident I've been in with her has left the other person's vehicle crushed beyond repair, while she walks away with not much more than a ding on the fender.

Though, not this time...not a ding, at least.

The doors on the drivers side were smashed up.

Oh yeah...did I mention he hit me square on the drivers side?

Sure did.

So she's getting all better, while I'm paying out-of-pocket for a rental car, as the person who hit me is now saying that it wasn't at all his fault, because in the land of crazy rednecks, red means "yee-haw".

Which I'm assuming is their universal term for "accelerate".

So until they get the police report, his insurance company refuses to pay for anything.

Though, when he is found at fault, I'll be reimbursed for everything.

Perhaps I should have rented a Bentley.

No, I have a Focus.

A Focus, which the lovely woman at Enterprise (They'll pick you up) told me was a free upgrade, since a model in my price range wasn't available.

An upgrade.

To a Focus.

Apparently they were fresh out of rocking horses that day.

Lucky me.

Before I go...how about this...

I'm rapidly approaching a year on Diaryland, and though having some sort of egomaniacal love fest for dizboy does sound appealing, I'm not going to do that.

What I do want to do is find out what you all think is my

Best. Entry. Ever.

Because God knows I sure don't know what it is.

So here's what's gonna happen...July 6th is the year mark...If you want to participate in this little experiment, send an E-mail to TresFabuleux@aol.com with the subject "Favorite Entry", and in the E-mail include the Title, and date of the entry.

I'll take these up till June 29th, then I'll go through all of them, get the top 4 or 5 with the most votes, and then put those up for a week for everyone to decide what the

Best. Entry. Ever.

is...which I will then divulge on my anniversary date.

Confused yet? I think I am...just re-read it...that's what I did.

Alright, so let's see if this works...I think it's a good idea, and it gives people an excuse to read older entries.

You know, back when I was funny.

Be well...


Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

Prodigal Son - 11:03 pm , 11.20.06

So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish - 6:41 pm , 05.29.05

The Beginning of the End - 1:15 pm , 11.22.04

Brand Positioning - 2:13 am , 09.20.04

A Pop Culture Case Study - 9:24 pm , 08.26.04

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