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A Hair-Raising Experience
Written on 2002-05-27, at 10:12 a.m.
dizboy's disturbing daily diet...

Nothing.

Well, I just got up.


John Live*

The Amazing Lobster-Boy.

*Not at all live


While putting around the bathroom the other day, I stopped to brush out what I thought was some fuzz from my hair.

Funny...it's not coming out...

Hold on...let's go in for a closer look...

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to...

My first grey hair.

I stood there, in total disbelief, wondering what to do, not daring to touch it for fear that I may incur it's wrath, and have it multiply, forcing it's ungodly army of silver strands upon my once pristine head of midnight black tresses.

I had no idea what to do, this is something I wasn't prepared for.

Do I leave it? Do I cover it up? Do I pluck it out? Do I call 9-1-1?

"9-1-1 Emergency, how may I help you?"

"Yes...ma'am...I've, I've just found my first grey hair...I..I..I..don't know what to do..."

"Sir..sir, calm down, please...first tell me, how old are you?"

"I'm...I'm twenty-three..."

"Alright, sir...there's nothing to worry about, even at that age, a grey hair is perfectly natural."

"But...but..I'm a homosexual..."

"What! Ok, sir...that's different...just relax, do not move, or attempt to deal with this on your own. We're sending over one of your closest friends, a pint of Ben & Jerry's, and select Bette Midler movies."

So Danny came over to console me.

Well, I thought it was to console me.

"Let's see it." he said.

I showed him...

"Where is it? Get closer."

Blindly, I listened to him, leaned in closer, and moments later felt a sharp prick along my hairline, and the came to the realization that I had just been duped.

"There, no more grey hair. Now, I'm hungry."

Bastard.


In other news, after a trip to Clearwater Beach this past Friday, I burned so badly that my nipples are now totally indistinguishable from the color of the surrounding skin on my chest.

This is both painful, and annoying.

Annoying because this certainly means that I'll be peeling during Gay Disney.

Peeling...during...what?

Gay Disney...Gay Week...Gay Days...

No matter how you say it, it's the fruitiest time of year here in this little hamlet we like to call Orlando.

And I'll be looking like a gay leper.

For lack of time, I'll explain more about what happens at Gay Days later.

And now, I'm off to walk the streets, as people point, and shout..."UNCLEAN!"

Be well...

-JOHN-


Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

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