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Do You Know Who I Am?
Written on 2002-02-05, at 12:54 a.m.
dizboy's disturbing daily diet...

1/2 Bag Ruffles Sour Cream and Cheddar Chips

1 Beef Stroganoff w/Noodles

1 Side Steamed Carrots

1 Tropicana Twister Orange/Strawberry/Banana

1 7" Pepperoni Pizza

1 Small Salad with Italian Dressing


John Live*

No, I'm never taking it off...it's so much easier than styling my hair.

*Not at all live


My away message says:

I know who you are, Dave Foley, and I'm not letting you by.

dizboy.diaryland.com

"What?" one asks.

"The hell is that about?" another queries.

"Um, I hope you're not badmouthing Dave Foley." says Brandon.

No, not at all.

Well, not really.

The thing is, that phrase is probably one of the funniest things I've ever heard.

So let me share the story...


It must have been, 1997, I believe.

I was still working at the Disney-MGM Studios, as a Productions/Events Coordinator, and a bright-eyed young man from Arkansas was leading this great nation of ours.

My manager Kevin and I were on the perimeter road around the park, specifically, the access road to the sound stages.

The reason we were back there was that it was our departments turn to guard the road during the fireworks display.

"Wait, you lost us..."

Did I?

Let me explain.

Before "FANTASMIC!", which is the nighttime live action/laser beams/fireworks/act of God show that is currently at the Park, our fireworks display was called "Sorcery in the Sky".

Now, one of the reasons this was such a spectacular show was that they set off the fireworks from behind the replica of the Mann's Chinese Theater, which is the centerpiece of the Studios.

The only problem with this, was that they set off the fireworks from behind the replica of the Mann's Chinese Theater, which is the centerpiece of the Studios.

Yes, right in the middle of the park.

It was great for the guests, but terrible logistics-wise. Reason being, an hour and a half before the show, the back half of the Park would have to be cleared, because that was the firework fallout area.

Of course, Disney doesn't do ANYTHING on a small scale, so we're talking about big, flaming things all over the place.

And that's just the Entertainment Department...

Thanks folks, I'll be here all week.

No, really, it does mean that there are enormous, fiery rockets hurtling down from the sky.

Obviously, this creates a tremendous amount of pressure on the company, as I'm fairly certain that "Being Incinerated" doesn't rank very high on most families vacation plans...

8:00AM- Breakfast with Mickey Mouse

10:00AM- Arrive at the Disney-MGM Studios

1:00PM- Ride "Tower of Terror"

3:00PM- Watch the "Hercules" Parade

7:00PM- Dinner at the "Sci-Fi Café"

9:15PM- Die in a blazing inferno

And so forth...

Being, like most everyone, averse to lawsuits, Disney makes sure that the fallout areas are thoroughly cleared, and that no one, NO ONE gets into the restricted areas for any reason.

Besides of course, me, who once dashed, seconds before the fireworks began, down the fallout street to obtain a poster of the character "Jax", from some Soap Opera for a little girl in a wheelchair who had had someone steal her original one while she was inside an attraction. There’s a lot more to that story, which is actually really funny, but that’s for another time.

Where was I?

Oh yes…NO one is allowed in the fallout areas…

And, I promise, this will have to do with Dave Foley eventually.

Like I said, Kevin and I were backstage, making sure the areas around the sound stages were clear.

The sound stages, which were at that time being used to film the HBO mini-series “From the Earth to the Moon.”

“Hey…wasn’t Dave Foley in the HBO mini-series ‘From the Earth to the Moon’?”

Why yes, yes he was.

There we were, chatting about things, possibly the convention we were working that evening, perhaps about the how it rained EVERY SINGLE DAY that Summer, perhaps about other things.

The fireworks had been going on for about five minutes when we saw someone coming toward us from down the street.

As the figure approached, I noticed that he looked vaguely familiar, but couldn’t place it.

Judging by the make-up, and the fact that he was wearing a “From the Earth to the Moon” jacket, I deduced that he had something to do with “From the Earth to the Moon.”

He walked up to us, not really acknowledging our presence, ready to stride past.

“Sir, you can’t go back there while the fireworks are going on.” says Kevin, in the traditionally cheerful Disney voice.

“I have to get to the sound stages.” said the mystery man, whom I could not for the life of me, place.

“I’m sorry, but no one is allowed in the fallout areas until the pyro-techs call an all-clear, it’ll just be a few minutes.”

Standard answer, both Kevin and I had used it a million times.

Where in the world did I know this guy from?

Realizing that I was lost in that though, I tuned back in to the conversation, which had become a little more heated.

I came back into the little tiff just in time to hear the most cliché line in Hollywood tantrums…

“Listen, do you KNOW who I AM?”

Well, I wanted to know.

To which Kevin firmly responds….

“I know who you are, DAVE FOLEY, and I'm not letting you by.”

“Hey! You’re Dave Foley!” I yelled…at the most inappropriate time conceivable.

This warranted vicious glares from both men, which I ignored, happy that I finally realized why he was so familiar.

He ended up skulking off to a bench to wait out the show, after which Kevin and I happily allowed him back to the stages.


Perhaps one day I’ll become a B-list star, and try that line out on a seemingly witless employee somewhere.

“Listen, do you KNOW who I AM?”

To which they’ll firmly respond…

“I know who you are, DIZ-BOY, and you still have to pay for that Cinnabon.”

Be well…

-JOHN-


Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

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