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Once You Go Black...
Written on 2001-12-11, at 4:41 p.m.
CLIX!

dizboy's disturbing daily diet...

1 Red Bull

1 Peanut Butter PowerBar

6 Slices Roast Beef

1 Corn Cob

1 Butter Biscuit

1 Order Chocolate Puddin'


John Live*

Dyeing my hair back to black, seemingly with the addition of a grotesquely disproportionate, northbound eyebrow.

*Not at all live


Whoa I'm back in black....

I'm BACK IN BLAAAAAAAAAAAAACK.....

Never have song lyrics held so much meaning for me, they are so pure, so...so...well, true.

Because I once again have black hair.

The reason?

Well, there's not a specific one, other than the fact that I haven't experienced my natural hair color in about two years.

I have this terrible fear that once my real hair grows all the way out, and the black washes away, I'll find that I've gone totally, prematurely grey, and simply was too blinded by the tempting light of over-the-counter hair products to realize the folly of my ways.

I also have this terrible fear that I will continue to write sentences as long as the previous one.

It's an odd adjustment though, going black again. When I walked into Gap the first day I colored it, I had three people, all of whom I work with side-by-side everyday, approach me to ask if I needed assistance before realizing that it was in fact, me.

Even I, having known me for 23 years, am having difficulty with the "cheveux noir". Stumbling into my bathroom circa 6:30 this morning, I almost fell ass over tip into the bathtub, believing there to be a naked intruder with deeply black hair waiting to defy all laws of physics by leaping from within the mirror and do whatever it is that nude intruders with fabulous morning hair do.


As a testament to the culture-free environment, and lack of sophistication that Orlando has, the woman at the movie store gives me this rebuttal to my request for the DVD, "Hedwig and the Angry Inch":

"Oh...that one...Well you're gettin' the first copy. Hey, what's it about? We was tryin' to figure that out when we were unpackin' it."

I attempt to explain the story to her, but she looks at me like I'm speaking in the voice of the adults in the "Peanuts" cartoons.

"Mwah wah, mwah wah wah SEX CHANGE, Mwah wah wah wah, mwah INCH, NOT ITCH. Mah wah wah wah mwah mah mwah MIDNIGHT RADIO. Mwah wah wah, JOHN CAMERON MITCHELL NAKED."

"Er...$21.19."

Why do I try?


Today begins a challenge that I've made for myself.

Well it's now a challenge because I'm lazy, but I promised myself this summer that I wouldn't go see "The Fellowship of the Ring" until I re-read the entire trilogy.

I was going to include "The Hobbit", but as I skimmed through it, I recalled everything, having read that one many, many times.

So, here it is, one week and one day before the film is released, and I have just today purchased the first book.

I hate buying them, since I have all three, but the ones I own are an antiqued, battered, and well worn first printing boxed set that was once owned by my grandfather, then my father, and now me.

Though they're probably in far too poor a condition to ever be worth anything, I don't feel that I should put any more miles on them than three generations of John's (yes, all three of us, not a very original family, are we?) already have.

So, I now own the 2001 printing of "The Fellowship of the Ring", with Elijah Woods' curly little head emblazoned onto the cover, and soon to follow, "The Two Towers", and "The Return of the King".

Hopefully I'll get them all done, but I doubt it. Regardless, in the following week, I'll keep you updated as to the book, and page number I happen to be at.


There are now 14 days left until Christmas, -1 Days till Hanukkah, and 38 days till Florida's Arbor Day (bet you didn't know that each state has a different Arbor Day, did you?). I say this simply for the chilling fact that I'm yet to do a single bit of shopping.

Oh, I've been shopping.

For myself.

But not yet for anyone on my list.

However, the fact that I have a list already made up is a definite two-hundred percent improvement from previous years, where "shopping" was the 24-hour Wal-Mart on December 23rd, or 24th, and "list" was a few names of the people whom I could recall were my friends and family, scrawled on a partially used Wendy's napkin.


I must apologize for:

A) The lack, and

B) The thin substance,

...of recent entries. As many of you know, it's "final exam season", which I would gladly replace with "festering runny genital sores season" without so much as a second thought if I could.

However, I take solace in the fact that it will all be over on Thursday, when I enter the classroom where I attend BSC1060, Biology of Human Sexuality, and attempt to make a 95% or better, pulling my grade up to the lowest "B" possible.

And though I'm quite an authority on the male sexual makeup, given my track record with a womans cha-cha and hoo-hoo's...

I just pray it isn't a hands on final.

Be well...

-JOHN-

CLIX!


Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

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