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Black Friday
Written on 2001-11-23, at 11:41 p.m.
dizboy's disturbing daily diet...

2 Ham Subs

2 Italian Subs

1 Turkey Sub

4 Snack Sized Snickers Bars

John Live*

I'm sporting the "post retail-hell" look.

*Not at all live

Gap was nice enough to buy out Subway, and provide an enourmous amount of candy and sodas today as an incentive for us to not take our own lives at work.

The actual event of working really wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. We did a great amount of money today, and overall had a good day.

Speaking of the day, it's apparently called "Black Friday", the name given to this day as it's...er...well, I'm not quite sure.

Perhaps it's a retail honorarium for all those who have, in the past, given their lives on this day in glorious battle for the last CK One gift basket.

We may never know.

But, in honor of Black Friday, all the employees in my store were instructed that we were to wear a black top, and denim jeans to work today.

Quite a good idea, I suppose.

And one that I would have wholeheartedly embraced, had I not shown up to work today in dark corduroys, a white tuxedo shirt, and a sky blue sweater.

You see...I've been away from my store since last Saturday, having spent the past week putting together another Gap in the district that's re-opening.

So, as is customary, I didn't get the memo.

The weatherman on WKMG, our CBS affiliate, just seamlessly went from the weather forecast in Orlando, to the weather in Afghanistan. No explanation at all...just...

"Highs in Leesburg and Sanford will be in the high 70's, and in the upper mountainous regions in the Afghan northern sector, we'll have lows in the 30's, so winter is definately in full swing."

Does this not compute with anyone else?

You'll find that previous section word for word in my new LiveJournal, as I'm...

1. not very creative at the moment, and

2. I'm still trying to figure out LiveJournal, which seems hell bent on hindering my progress at every turn.

I'm not too incredibly skilled at the "streaming weblog" type of writing, so we'll see how well that goes.

Now, what everyone's been waiting for...the detailed account of the fabulously dysfunctional, alternative lifestyle Thanksgiving festivities of last night.

Well, you're not going to get it.

The reason is because after an indeterminable amount of red wine and champagne, details seem to escape me.

But some of the high points, I do recall...

On Wednesday evening, Carly and I arrived at our host, Cesar's apartment for a little "gay movie sleepover night".

The word in that statement which now seems quite superfluous is "sleep".

We stayed up until roughly 7am, singing showtunes, watching videos of Bat Mitzvas, and taping ourselves sitting on a couch for twenty minutes.

The three of us then retired to bed.

Actually, the same bed.

Two gay men, and a lesbian make, well...strange bedfellows.

Myself, up against the wall, which is adorned with many random artsy objects, makes the foreshadowed comment of "Watch one of these things fall on me in my sleep..."

Not five minutes later, a seemingly well secured brass frog falls victim to gravity, striking me on the arm.


As I was drifting off, I rolled over, and felt a small pain in my leg...

"Oh my GOD, what am I touching!?!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, it's a crucifix..."

That explains it.

I awoke at around 11am, to catch the last half of the Macy's Day Parade.

All I can say is...

Poor Tony Bennett.

The man forgot the words to RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER.

Ah well...I suppose we'll all be there someday.

With dinnertime approaching, Cesar was slaving away in the kitchen, masterfully preparing a 16-pound turkey, a ham, and more sides than can be found in five Boston Markets.

I, being the skilled coordinator that I am...supervised the entire event as I drank questionable quantities of wine. Shortly before dinner, we were joined by Fred and Dan, both bearing good tidings of great alcohol and nicotine.

After consuming a good bit of both of these, we sat down to a wonderful dinner, discussing everything from hairy assholes to vaginitis.

a la Martha Stewart.

After dinner, intoxication compelled Cesar and I to perform a rousing rendition of "Big Spender" from Sweet Charity, which was caught on digital video for the sake of future generations of boozy theater queens.

Not long after we had finished, our missing guest, the drag queen arrived. So of course, we ate some more, and did vaguely un-Christian-like things with whipped cream, realizing only later that it was most likely intended only for the pumpkin pie.

I can now say that I have had Thanksgiving dinner with a drag queen, and a popular one at that. For those of you in the Orlando area, it was Nazhoni, which makes it all the more interesting.

Later on, we took a little trip to Southern Nights, where said drag queen, in the Thanksgiving spirit, performed "Colors of the Wind" dressed as Pocohontas.

Most everything after that I don't recall too clearly, but I awoke this morning with a pumpkin pie, a check for $20, and a headache.

And I call that a good Thanksgiving.

Be well...


P.S.- CLIX!...it's now an addiction.

Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

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