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A Plea for Understanding
Written on 2001-11-12, at 2:21 a.m.
nameless kitty's disturbing daily diet...

1 Scoop of Whiskas Cat Food

1/2 Can Fancy Feast

Another Scoop of Whiskas Cat Food

1/2 Can Fancy Feast

Catnip Snorted: 2 lines (getting better)


Cat Live*

Making sure he's fast asleep...

*Not at all live


Ok, so, John's finally asleep, took him long enough.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I am...

Well...that's the first problem.

I have no name.

And, I feel that I deserve one, as I'm a very smart, worthy pet.

I mean just look at this, I can type, AND I know basic HTML.

John thinks that I'm simply a scatterbrained kitten who gets into too much trouble.

But he's wrong, he simply misreads the things I do, and need not get annoyed.

For example...

When I knock over the garbage can, that's simply to tell him that it needs to be taken out.

When I throw kitty litter all over the bathroom, it's in case the floor gets wet, so he won't slip.

When I ate his last cigarette the other day, it's because I know he wants to quit.

I was chewing on the leather straps on his Prada backpack because it said it was planning on killing him in his sleep.

When I present him with garbage I find around the house, it's just that I'm trying to clean up...There are Cinnabon boxes everywhere...

And when I bite his nose while he's sleeping...Well, that's just sort of a fetish, my bad.


Well, as you see, I'm a very misunderstood animal. He'd better get to naming me fast, or else I'm going to leave him little surprises in his designer shoes.

Anyway, thank you for listening to me, and now that I've said my peace, I'm going to join him in bed...

...as there are noses to be chewed on.

Be well...

-????-


Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

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