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A Recipe for Gay
Written on 2001-11-10, at 12:27 a.m.
dizboy's disturbing daily diet...

1 Chocolate Meltaway

1 Pumpkin Spice Coffee Cooler

1 Too many trips to the Mongolian BBQ Buffet

1 Jones Soda

Numerous Chips and Salsa


John Live*

Me and my poser Emo glasses.

*Not at all live


A scene from a "Homosexuals Anonymous" meeting.

"Ahem...um...Hello, I'm, um...John...and, I'm...I'm a homosexual."

"HI JOHN!"

"Thanks. Well, it's been, um, 16 days since I last listened to a showtune."

*CLAP**CLAP**CLAP**CLAP*


In the course of tidying up my bathroom today, I started to notice something.

Something that makes me realize why I feel like the queen amongst queens sometimes.

I present to you, in no particular order...My bathroom inventory:

1 Bottle Dial Soap

2 Bottles of Listerine

1 Bottle of Bactine

2 Necklaces

3 Bottles of Contact Lens Solution

2 Contact Lens Cases

4 Pairs of Contact Lenses

2 Massaging Creams

2 Coffee Mugs

1 Dinner Plate

1 Bottle Nair

2 Bottles Drain-O

3 Toothbrushes

18 Different Chanel Skincare/Cosmetic Products

1 Box Q-Tips

3 Bottles of Vitamins

3 Hairbrushes

2 Combs

1 Bottle Baby Powder

14 Pearberry Scented Bath Beads

3 Packages of Dental Floss

3 Colors of Nail Polish

1 Bottle Nail Polish Remover

8 Fresh Cut Soaps of Assorted Scents

1 Litterbox

27 Separate philosophy Products

3 Different Deodorants

13 Bed-Head Products

5 Candles

12 Bottles of Cologne/Perfume

3 Tweezers

13 Shampoos

5 Conditioners

1 Hair Dryer

1 Razor (4 Blades)

2 Hair Bleaching Kits

2 Bottles Hair Dye (1 Blue, 1 Red)

2 Mirrors

1 Electric Razor

8 Towels

7 Washcloths

And one gay-ass partridge in a pear tree.

Be well...

-JOHN-


Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

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