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Picture this...
Written on 2001-10-30, at 1:28 p.m.
dizboy's disturbing daily diet...

1 Breakfast Sandwich (Sausage, Egg, Cheese)

1 Orange Juice

1 Hot Caramel Apple Cider (Mmm...Starbucks)

2 Cigarettes

So, I'm trying something new.

As my prowess in the foreign language of HTML improves, I like to attempt new things with my diary...

Hence, the lovely vision of yours truly.

I'm blonde again, as you can see, the sweater is because it was chilly this morning, I'm scruffy because I need to shave, and the sheet hanging behind me...

...the sheet. Let me explain.

No, I do not have a "Cum-guzzling gay boy-orgy" webcam broadcast from my apartment.

Well, not since the police came that night...

...but I digress.

You see, in all my brilliance, I positioned my computer so that my back is to the large bay window in the living room. You know, so that there's no sun in my eyes.

Unfortunately, this makes the sun shine directly onto the computer screen, making if very difficult to see.

Hence, the sheet.

Blocking the sun.

Oh, and my apartment is a pig-sty.

So, from now on, provided I can make this computer do what I want it to do, I'm going to snap a shot of myself as I'm writing an entry. Then, I'll put it...ready for this?

IN the entry.

It's sort of like, "John live".

Only...not really live at all.

You get the point.

So, let me know if this is a good idea, or if you're not seeing a picture, or if the sight of me staring you down as you try to read is vaguely unsettling.

You know...all that stuff.

Yesterday, whilst standing on my balcony, I saw to my far left, a FedEx truck. To my far right, a UPS truck. They were simply moving slowly, making their deliveries, but I knew that they would eventually converge at the leasing office to drop off everything that no one was home to sign for.

The funny part was that while watching them slowly moving down an empty parking lot toward each other, all I could picture were the drivers snapping their fingers rhythmically, and singing selections from "West Side Story".

You know how to make people think you're insane?

Giggle to yourself.

Yeah, so, people thought I was insane today in class.

I'm sitting there in Biology of Human Sexuality, bored off my gluteus maximus, as the professor discusses the anatomy of the male genitalia.

Normally, I'm all about that area, but not when she's showing pictures of testicles the size of basketballs, and a step-by-step illusration on how a circumcision is performed.

But as she's discussing, I'm making little comments in my head...witty things I'd say were I not in a classroom setting.

She gets to talking about the scientific name for the parts of the male.

"This part of the penis is called the coronal ridge." She says.

"Hey, isn't that in Arizona?" I think to myself.

Finding this very funny, I cannot help but laugh.

Out. Loud.

So now, my class, in addition to knowing that I have no idea what to do with a woman's vagina, now thinks I'm one of those people who giggles at the word "penis".

Be well...


Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

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