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Phallic Poetry
Written on 2001-09-03, at 11:16 p.m.
dizboy's disturbing daily diet...

1 Beef Stroganoff

1 Mashed Potatoes

1 Piece of Garlic Bread

1 Salad

1 Venti Tazoberry and Cream

My eating habits are becoming very predictable...

In light of the fact that I have nothing at all to write about tonight, I thought I'd write a few poems in different styles...

However, not having a subject, I asked all of my friends online at that moment for a noun.

These are their answers:


DreamingKW: penis!

Monkeysuncle5: printer

Halcyon81: peacock

Theatreab: dick

Parisian78: dick

UCFfighterBoy: rifle

RoxyBoy4: PENIS! That's a noun!

IndyMark1979: car

GRATigger: penis

And people say that gay men are all about sex, where oh where do they get that notion?

Well, I was hoping that I'd get something random and funny, but I suppose that a few poems about male genitalia would be fine...here goes...
In the style of a haiku:

The dangling flesh
which gets me into trouble
plumps when you cook it.

In the style of ee cummings:

how queer that no one

queer. cares to find (as it's lost)
that piece of, me,
but myself

& if i touch it (my mother told), i,
shall go blind

In the style of Emily Dickinson:

I saw a penis once before,
it was so large and firm.
I knew that if it got to close
then I would start to squirm.

But then I saw it wasn't what
my eyes had found so drastic.
"King Dong" was printed on its side,
it was just made of plastic.

(Remember in High School, that useless trivia that all of Emily Dickinson's poems could be sung to "The Yellow Rose of Texas?")

In the style of Robert Frost:

Two genitals diverged in my mind, and I--
I took the one with the balls.
And that has made all the difference.

In the style of Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss):

I do not like a little dick,
I do not like it, makes me sick.

I do not like it when it's soft,
I do not like it when I cough.

I do not like it in my mouth,
I do not like it way down south.

I do not like it without clothes,
I do not like it near my nose.

I do not like a little dick,
I do not like it, makes me sick.

So, there you have it.

The reason I'm not an English major.

Be well...


Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

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