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One's Company
Written on 2001-08-21, at 6:33 p.m.
dizboy's disturbing daily diet...

1/4 Chicken

1 Mashed Poatoes

1 Order of Corn

1 Sweet Tea

4 Cigarettes

I think I'm in a food rut.


I wish I had a roomate, I hate living alone.

I'd have so much fun with a roomate, we could do all sorts of fun roomate things together. I think I'd want a gay boy, I'd associate better. We could go shopping, and talk about boys, and paint each others nails. We'd have dates, and we'd get to judge the boys we bring home. On Wednesday nights, we could have pizza and champagne night, and watch "Golden Girls". We could do laundry in our pajamas, and wear Chanel exfoliating masks. And one day, I could make breakfast, and say "Hey, I made breakfast" and he'd say "Yeah, and you made a big mess in the kitchen." And I'd be all like "Yeah, but I made food." then he'd say, "Whatever." So I'd get really mad, and leave him one of those "roomate notes" like...

"You left your condoms in the fridge, could you get that when you get a chance?"

Which is that sort of you-want-it-to-sound-prissy, but not overty, type of note. Then he leaves one like...

"Would you please take the cat out of the oven, it's been a month you sick bastard."

And I'd get that when I have friends with me, so I'll have to explain how "sick bastard" is that sort of cute little roomate name we have. So I'll take the cat out, but I'll leave the oven door open, because I know that'll make him mad, but I forget that he went out of town, so I'll just play with all his things while he's gone, but then he'll come home a day early, and say "Why do you have my underwear on your head?". And I'd be all "I could ask you the same question." So he'd be like, "Um, no you couldn't." So then I'd say, "YEAH, well you smell like rabbit pee!!", and he'd say "That's it, I'm moving out..."

Hmm...

I'm glad I don't have a roomate, I love living alone.

Be well...

-JOHN-


Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

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