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No, we shan't go to Roy's...'tis a silly place
Written on 2001-08-19, at 7:41 p.m.
dizboy's disturbing daily diet...

Ok, this has been a long, odd twenty-something hours...so this is what I can remember...

1/4 Fried Chicken

1 Big Mac extra value meal

Here's where it gets a little dodgy...

Assorted Snack Foods (pretzels, corn chips, etc...)

And quite a large amount of alcohol.

Though not as large an amount as others at the party, no names, Roy.

Oops.

2 Slices Pepperoni Pizza

1 Godiva Raspberry truffle

1 (DA DA DA DUM!!!!!) Cinnabon


By the way, I'm starting a band...

Our name is going to be "Disoriented Labia".


So....last night....

What a wonderful time...

So many stories, so many quotes...

Though I think Tracy will use the best of them, so I'll spare everyone.


But, I must start at the beginning of the evening.

I'm on my way out to Roy's party, which, mind you, is clear on the other side of the world from me.

Well, as I leave my house, my gas gauge is juuuuuuuuust above "E"...Now, I know my little Velma (car), and I know that she has a good 40 miles left in her once the "Low Fuel" light comes on.

Unfortunately, the "Low Fuel" light must have taken a vacation at the same time I did, and simply never bothered to come back.

Perhaps it claimed political asylum in a Volvo.

Regardless, I stopped for some drinks for the party, and as I started the car to pull out...

HODDA DADA DUH.....

HODDA DADA DUH.....

HODDA DADA DUH.....

It's that sound...the sound of no gas...the sound John's anger.

(Unrelated side note, the news just reported that there were 3 more shark attacks on the Florida coast today, bringing the total in the past week to over 10. IT'S SHARK MATING SEASON. THERE ARE SIGNS. IT IS ON EVERY EVERY NEWS SHOW EVERY DAY ON EVERY CHANNEL. The dolts who go in the water deserve to be written off as entrée’s.)

So, yes, I ran out of gas. There was an Eckerd on one side of the street, and a gas station on the other.

Eckerd had Alcohol, Exxon had petrol.

I picked the wrong one to go to first.

Long story short, I called Roy's, and they dispatched the butchest gay boy they had to rescue me.


Once I got to the party, it was smooth sailing.

It was both exciting and strange to be around all the Diaryland people.

We had our own little Diaryring. Myself, Ian (Eon), Tracy (trickykid), Adam (adambesme), and Roy (royfly).

Well all clicked quite well, our rapport only shaken whenever someone would ask...

"So, how do you all know each other?"

Not that it's embarrassing in any way, but to a non Diaryland person, it sounds a tad odd...

"Oh, we put our lives up on the internet for all to see."


The night was fraught with interesting conversation, lots of alcohol, and basically all the things you'd expect from a classy party.

Like a kiddy pool filled with ice and drinks which may or may not have contained a human at some point in the evening.

Some of the high points though were all during the "Diaryland segregation".

Meaning, we all moved ourselves into a corner in order to avoid some of the alcoholic infants.

Everyone being amused by the way I laugh (or squeak), Ian talking about his labia, Roy treating water as liquid gold, Adam being molested by intoxicated pre-pubescents, and Tracy's "piss off and die" looks toward said puberty impaired peoples.

So what did we learn last night?

1. Ian has a labia.

2. Adam has a really long tongue.

3. I squeak. A lot.

4. Roy is REALLY funny when he's drunk.

5. Tracy can be easily coerced into drinking.


So on a little more serious note, I have to say that spending the day with Ian today was absolutely amazing. I took him shopping at the Altamonte mall, which I think was a little bit of an overawe for him. It was a tad of a culture shock, I believe. I brought him shopping at Gap, got him some "Non-neon European tourist" clothes, and introduced him to two things I can't believe he's lived without all these years, Godiva Chocolate, and...

Cinnabons.

I was so excited watching someone who had never experienced the lovely Cinna-liciousness take that first bite and have his face light right up.

Honestly, he's one of the most incredible people I've met, and I'm sad to see him leave so quickly.

But, at least he's actually in THIS country for a while.

"'ello, we're the ROmans..."

Be well...

-JOHN-

P.S.- "Six Feet Under" is INTENSE tonight...wow!!!


Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

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