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The Prodigal Son Returns
Written on 2001-08-16, at 1:07 a.m.
dizboy's disturbing daily diet...

Random Airplane food

1 Cinnabon

1/4 Chicken from Boston Market

1 Order Zingers

1 Cigarette (a welcome change from the past week)


So, here I am back at home, and after the tally, here's the final rundown...

Number of days in NY: 6

Number of flights taken: 3

Amount of cigarettes smoked: 1 carton (I kid you not, between my friend and I, we smoked a whole carton in pretty much 6 days.)

Amount spent: $700 (Yikes!)

Amount of money I'll have to ask my parents for now: A lot

Method in which I will get this money: Double the price of my textbooks from the bookstore, then order them online anyway. (Hey, it's a good trick if you can make yourself shallow enough.)

Number of movies seen: 2

Number of times "...for my pussy" was uttered: Far too many to count

Number of times a group of young adults found the phrase "...for my pussy" funny: Pretty much every

Amount of alcohol consumed: Enough to keep Liza alive for a week

Number of Hospital visits: 0 (much better than the Christmas trip)

Visits to The Big Cup: Shamefully, 2

Number of backs shaved: 1

Number of fellatio attempts in a public restroom: 1

Time it takes to get ready when there's only an hour of free drinks at Roxy: 3 minutes

Number of Birthdays: 3

Number of Birthdays for a 23-year old: Bah...


The other night, I was asleep, sharing a bed with my best friend...

I woke up, and my whole arm was asleep.

No, not asleep, in a coma.

You see, I had fallen asleep with my arm laying above my head, and I suppose the blood just figured that was too far a trip to take.

Well anyway, I was very concerened, and tried to move it on it's own accord, but it wouldn't do anything.

My other arm was pinned under the pillow, so it was useless.

So...mustering all the strength I could get to that arm, I made one valiant surge and the sleeping arm flopped forward.

Right onto my best friends ass.

It gets better...

I had apparently used all in the "reserve tanks" to get the arm to where it had landed, so no matter what I did, it wouldn't move.

I was horrified.

All I could do was stare at it, and wait for enough blood to get back to it so that it would once again be a useful limb.

I kept thinking..."He's going to wake up, he's going to wake up..."

How in the WORLD do you explain that...even the truth sounds insane.


My flights today were fairly uneventful, besides the fact that there were a group of Latinos who obviously forgot they were on a plane, and not a college football game, as they were screaming across the plane when they were, in actuality, next to each other.

I had a layover in Cincinnati on my way home, I was not really pleased about it, I mean...what is there to do there.

Then as I got off the plane, I was looking at a Cinnabon, and I got my answer.

I have to say though, it wasn't the best Cinnabon I've had in my life...But, it was Ohio, so I wasn't expecting a lot.


So, here I am, back in Orlando, happy to see Velma (my car) and Arthur (my bear; see picture above), and ready to fall back into the monotony of school and work.

Glad to be home.

But not glad to be 23, blah...this shall pass...

Be well...

-JOHN-


Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

Prodigal Son - 11:03 pm , 11.20.06

So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish - 6:41 pm , 05.29.05

The Beginning of the End - 1:15 pm , 11.22.04

Brand Positioning - 2:13 am , 09.20.04

A Pop Culture Case Study - 9:24 pm , 08.26.04


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