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NYC Update Day 5:The Red Shoes Diary
Written on 2001-08-14, at 2:35 a.m.
dizboy's disturbing daily diet...

1 Iced Coffee from the Big Cup (yikes!)

2 Slices NY pizza (yum!)

1 Steak and Shrimp dinner at Arriba Arriba

1 Margarita as big as my head

1 "Ghetto Pizza" from CVS market

3 Frozen Cosmos from Xth Avenue Lounge (my bar!!)

So it's over...I'm 23 years old now.

I really can't lie about it either, or make it sound better...

"Yeah, I'm TWENTY-THREE!!! The Go-Go's RUUUUULE!!!"

That's not cool at all, now is it?

So I spent the day pretty much alone.

It was by an odd twist that 2 of my friends from Orlando just happened to be in the city at the same time. I went out shopping with them a while, then headed off on my own.

Soho, The Village, Chelsea, lots of gay shopping today.

But...I finally bought some red shoes.

$175 red shoes, but red shoes nonetheless.

As I mentioned earlier, the weather here has been as stable as Mariah Carey off medication, and it's rained on and off a lot.

So I'm heading back, and the sky just OPENS UP, pissing down rain.

Fortunately, this happened just as I had arrived in Union Square, so I was quick to duck into the Virgin Megastore. So as the rain poured away, I read some of the queer periodicals and pretended to shop.

My trip home was QUITE exciting though...full of interesting New York moments.

As I'm leaving Virgin, with my brand new (and dry) red shoes in tow, there are a large number of children on the street selling candy.

They are...VERY annoying.

They're literally chasing people down the street asking them to buy candy.

So, as I approach them, I decide to go with the tried and true "foreign approach".

CHILD: Hey, you want to buy some M&M's??? HEY!!!

ME: Euh, Je parle francais, je suis desole...

CHILD: Ah! D'accord, francais...est-ce tu veux acheter "M&M's"

ME: WHAT??? GO AWAY!!! (Then I ran into the Diesel store)

Shit....I keep forgetting where I am...that doesn't always work here.

It totally caught me off guard that a 9-year old would know French, so I freaked, and ran like I had just lied under oath.

I continued walking back uptown, and ended up behind this woman...

...and I must say, this was possibly the most amusing thing I have ever encountered, New York or not.

You see...she was a homeless woman, who muttered incomprehensively down the street.

That is, until she came to an intersection.

When she would get to the end of a block, regardless of if there was a street sign or not, she would SCREAM out the intersection she was at.



It was like having a walking map of Manhattan. And she would do the same thing for subway stations.

"A, C, E, 1-9, UPTOWN"

She was amazing, but I had to get home eventually, so I gave her some money for giving me a New York moment, and took my leave.

One small thing that I thought was quite funny...Right on NYU's turf, in the village, there is a statue of Fiorello Laguardia, one of New Yorks most famous and influential mayors. Well, the statue has a big, open mouth, and as I passed it, I giggled to notice that someone had stuffed a small plush monkey into his oral cavity.

I'm not sure if this was meant to be some statement, but I think that monkeys in people's mouths are funny, regardless of the circumstances.

We went to a restaurant called "Arriba Arriba" tonight, and my bastard friends had the staff bring out a little cake thing, and all sang "Happy Birthday" to me at the top of their lungs. I was mortified.

"Oh John, you love the attention..."

Well, if it were my 21st, maybe. But not 23. That's a non-event, an "unbirthday" if you will.

Well my chick-a-dees, I must be off to blissful slumber, but I leave you with this.


See this movie even if you have to hitchhike to another town to see it.

It is by far, the best movie I've seen in a very long time.

So go see that, and go see "Wet, Hot, American Summer" when it opens on the 24th.

If for no other reason than to hear the line:

"...for my pussy."

When you see it, you'll understand.

Ok, my shoes and I are off to bed.

Be well...


Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

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