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House Arrest
Written on 2001-07-26, at 12:31 a.m.
dizboy's disturbing daily diet...

1 Entire Meat Lovers Pizza from Josies

1 2-Liter Coke

_____________________________________________________

Time I woke up: 5:30pm

Times I've gone outside today: 0

Times I've eaten: 1

Articles of clothing I've donned: 1 pair GapBody Karate Pants, which I think trickykid will agree, are the most pleasureable things one can have against one's genitals.

Well, besides peanut butter, but that's best left to urban legend.

Reason for donning said clothing: Had I not, I probably would have scared the pizza man.

Time it took me to clear my system of a computer virus: 7 hours.

Time it's taken me to realize I need nothing but this beloved computer to survive: 22 years.

Number of lifeless losers inhabiting apartment #1926: Just the one.

_____________________________________________________

This has been a SAD day...

Though I reason it to myself that I've worked about 10,000 hours in the past few days, and I deserve to sleep...

It's just sad.

I mean, the ONLY human contact I've had today has been the pizza man.

And his english was a tad dodgy, so I can't imagine he'd count too much.

I was thinking about what I did today...

I renewed my financial aid...

Online.

I got airline tickets...

Online.

I sent my resume out for an internship...

Online.

I caught up with friends...

Online.

I ordered pizza...

Online.

I was invited to see Cum-Guzzling Asian Sluts...

Online.

I think if they made a computer that could have sex with you, I'd be the first in line.

I remember reading about some guy a year or so ago who was doing some publicity stunt having to do with him living for a year, or something, without leaving his house, doing everything online.

I remember thinking...

"God, what a loser, he should be beaten with sticks."

And now I realize...

I am that guy.

Well, today I was...

But tomorrow....TOMORROW, I'll do something!

Actually, I have to. I have a final.

_____________________________________________________

Mariah Carey is still alive, much to my dismay.

_____________________________________________________

Here's a gross story...

I was at work the other night, and got something shoved into my finger.

You know how you hear about the Viet-Cong torturing people by pushing bamboo shoots up under their nails?

It was a lot like that.

Only instead of the Viet-Cong, it was Gap Worker Jeans (49.50), and instead of bamboo shoots, it was a Swif-Tatch gun (it puts the dangly price tags on clothes with the plastic hangy things. That's as technical as I can make that...).

So it happened, and the FIRST thing I thought was...

"Don't get blood on the clothes!!"

What the hell was that???

That's one sign that work is controlling my life.

_____________________________________________________

I registered for a few classes yesterday, not that there's really a funny story, but for anyone who cares, I'm taking...

Biology of Human Sexuality. (Sex 101)

20th Century Literature. (This is now a "History" class, tee hee...)

Intermediate Algebra. (I am mathematically retarded)

And at least one or two more later on...

Speaking of school, I have that final tomorrow, I'm off...

Be Well...

-JOHN-

P.S.- Thank you to everybody who's signed my guestbook, it serves to feed my egomaniacal and codependant personality.


Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

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