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Ghetto Fag-ulous
Written on 2001-07-15, at 4:15 p.m.
Ok, THIS is a good one...


11 Rolos (The bag is now finished)

1 Plain Bagel/Plain Cream Cheese

1 Lemonade

2 Grilled Steak Tacos from Taco Bell

16 Cigarettes (It was a clubbing night, I'm allowed. But the fact that I had to look at the pack, and subtract the number left from 20 makes me sad)

1 too many drinks..ha ha, get it, "1" too many...Ugh.


I am ghetto.

No, not ghetto fabulous, like "J-lo". Or "K-lo" (ok, ONE person gets that)

Just ghetto.

Let me explain to you, my absolute un-fabulousness.

I was sitting in my car before going into the club, drinking.

And by drinking, of course I mean sipping a 40-oz. of Icehouse through a straw in an oversized Chick-Fil-A cup.

That...is ghetto. Especially when it's beer.

Especially when it's cheap beer.

Especially when it's cheap beer outside a Gay club.

Now...I don't usually drink a lot. But this past week, I have. I'm not quite sure why, but I seem to be going back to the golden age of drinking, where I would party with friends, drink all night, and never think anything of it.


The summer that we opened Animal Kingdom at Disney I was in Entertainment. Characters, to be precsise. Those fuzzy happy things with people inside them. Well, as you can imagine, you put a lot of young, gay, college students together, and we're going to drink a lot...

And we did.

Every night, to be truthful.

And not like, beer, or whatever. We did straight liquor. Jack Daniels, Absolut, Bacardi...ad nauseam (no pun intended)

We'd just drink all night, pass out, and go to work in the morning. Well, as you can also imagine, it's fairly warm in FL in the summer.

And by warm, or course I mean Satan wears SPF 40.

So, and this is the funny part, when we'd get in costume, and start to sweat...we could SMELL all the alcohol coming out of us.

I still remember the first time I caught a whiff of myself as the whiskey seeped out of me on set. I was worried a little child would smell it...

"Mommy, Tigger smells like Grandma..."

Be well...


Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

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