Old   E-Mail   Diaryland
New   Profile   Guestbook  
"Ode to Heterosexuality"
Written on 2001-07-07, at 10:43 p.m.
"Ode to Heterosexuality"

Who would I be if I lived a straight life?

I'd have two point five children, and a lovely straight wife.

I'd work with straight tools, like a hammer and chisel, and not weep for my hair should the rain start to drizzle.

I'd eat a straight meal, I'd drink a straight drink. I'd not call the plumber, I'll fix my own sink.

I'd drive a straight car, like a truck or a van. I'd walk a straight walk, I'd act like a man.

On Sundays, of course, it's football and beers. Not brunches and facials, that's best left to queers.

Straight sex with my wife would be such a delight, two, three, FOUR minutes! Who's on Leno tonight?

I'd do all these things, I'd do them quite well. I'd make myself straight, so I won't go to hell.

I'd do it, I swear, I'd find that straight voice! I'd do it but OH!!!...

...It isn't a choice.


Your Host and Emcee...dizboy.

Prodigal Son - 11:03 pm , 11.20.06

So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish - 6:41 pm , 05.29.05

The Beginning of the End - 1:15 pm , 11.22.04

Brand Positioning - 2:13 am , 09.20.04

A Pop Culture Case Study - 9:24 pm , 08.26.04


Tired of waiting for me to update? Want to know when I do?
Then sign up for my NotifyList:

email:

Clix!

                      Far / Near